Down and Dirty in DTLA

Well there I was... pounding the grimy streets of the downtown wholesale area of LA, a fave haunt of The Kiwi's. With wits semi intact, the need to go meant I went from being wide-eyed prowess to being pinkie in distress. I no longer had the LA TIMES car-park to sneak into and enjoy their somewhat cleanish facilities. I knew that Charbucks was a WC free space...go figure. Then I remembered I had passed a McDisgusting on previous adventures through the alternate world of LA. I was going to say the alternate world of well heeled LA and then I remembered that this wee pot hole part of one of the most famous and infamous cities of America is also well to do in an underworld sort of way. I was winding and weaving my way through olde Persia where the bucks collected, very rarely go through the books to fatten the back pockets of the likes of Bel Air. As usual I digress and resort to a mad rave...ce la vie. So there I was, winding down the gulf, needing a pee so bad that I dare not stop to contemplate an alternative, McDisgusting here I come. The usual clientele were there, the bedraggled, the crusties, the zoot suited pimples of society and me. I kind of blended with the bedraggled. Tracy gets it...she will confirm my uncanny ability to mix in with the weirdest of weird and with a flick of the hair it is like I belong. I know there is another name for it but it eludes me right now. Sooooo...back to the story. I get to the front of the line, open the door, half expecting to see a scene out of LA LAW and ORDER. You know the ones...corpse with hole in forehead propped up against the bog, or corpse with eyes looking straight ahead with needle in dirty arm. Have I painted the picture of our big cityscape? Instead, the first of two cesspools had rubbish piled up and I was toooo scared to even look inside the bowl because I just knew it was blocked up with goodness knows what. I looked left then right then left again and settled on the dunny straight ahead. To cut a long story short, when a gal has to pee she could even pee under a tree but in LA fabric district there aren't any trees so Macs place has a monopoly, what's new.
I thought you might like to share my adventure and yes, at least there was toilet paper and no corpses. I must look into one of those female urinal things, I know I have seen them in the wrinkles magazines before today. Not a bad option when one travels on the sidewalks and freeways these days. If anyone has had experience using one of these devices can they please riddle me this...Can they be used with one hand and is it even legal? All that being said, relief being sweet... the treasure hunt continued, buttons and various other Gorgeous Wee Objects were added to the YanKiwi inventory. I think next time I shall just go to the supermarket and get myself a six pack of Depends and save myself the dispair of downtown dunny disgust.