Kiwi Tales

Carnivore Heaven

Ok...I must admit I have been looking forward to this day since day one. I am not a newbie at this so I did know what was ahead in the long days till Day 5. It is not merely that I have a fondness for eating my farm friends. It really, primarily boils down to TEXTURE. Slime be gone. I want something to chew and taste, savour and comfort me. OK... that last one was reaching for it because no animal should die just to comfort ME. The point is I am not evolved enough to get all my needs met by Cabbage-head and his friends...put me on a desert island or send me back to the bush and I could do it, I would have to. For now I am enjoying some chicken, cow and probably fish over the next two days. I will also be dining on tomatoes freshly picked out of the garden...handfuls of them and lets not forget the star of the show CABBAGE duh SOUP. OK...short post this time, gotta go find the cats. I have a plan, a plan so cunning you could pin a tail on it!

Day One

Its all coming back to me now as I raise the spoon to my lips. The memory is more than vivid, all senses are on alert. The taste-buds scream Noooooooooo... to deaf ears. The nostrils flare as if they had caught a whiff of something particularly putrid. Like a mad woman I search for the bottom of the bowl. Desperate to see the more slender me looking back up. Neither is there a fairy Godmother with a magic wand.  What I do see is my new friend.  Meet Cabbage. Cabbage is duh bomb, in more ways than you'll ever know! Ahhhhhh...when will a gal learn eh?

New Year...aka. Another day, another dollar...or not.

Hello faithful  peeps. I don't deserve you. I have let down the team with my lack of correspondence via  duh blog. So sue me. I didn't accomplish anything on my list from last NEW YEAR...the resolution that ought not have  been uttered. Alas, it was. BUTT it is a NEW YEAR. My, doesn't time fly. You would think I had brass ones if I dared undertake a new round of resolutions with my appalling track record of non completion. Oh well.. In saying that and gently removing the instrument of self flagellation from my back I am going to dare wear my resolution for year 2011 in its place. So there. I am aspiring to maintain a downward trail from my present weight. Seriously thinking about wiring my own lips for a few months. Wonder where that would get me other than in urgent care. I digress. I am going to inflict a regime of calorie counting on the house. I will be dolling out the calories and counting them. Apart from the kittens, they are already on a NO human food diet. I am the one who struggles with maintaining a healthy weight and I love to cook so I must be strict. We play racquetball at least 5 times a week for a couple of hours at a time yet it is not enough. I just have to look at something that takes my fancy and BAM...it is slapped on the side of some body-part. At least it goes via the mouth. ANYWAY...

I will be loosing a few pound and I aim to do so before my next trip home to see Mum and family in New Zealand. I will be fitter...more disciplined and will not be so weak when I am back in the land of lamb roast, fish and chips, pies and all the gorgeous yet fattening yummy stuff. Thats the space I am aiming for and I am doing it publicly via duh blog.

In the meantime...back to cleaning the HQ...looks and feels like a bout of playing is in the air.

Sunny day here in Riverside California and I'll say tata for now...

ps...I shall aim to be a better more consistent blogger this year....yeahyeahyeah I know...heard it before .

Well hear it again. I am going to reach out and loose my inches whilst fading into the bloggesphere.

Thats the aim anyway...

So join me on my journey.

regards. The Kiwi

 

Deadlines looming...

The Kiwi has been spread thin since returning from Aotearoa. All the hours in a day mean ZIP really! I am sure it is a time management issue. I shall make a mental note to consult the head rice crispie. There has been a little writing, a little biz, OH...The Art In the Yard fest was a blast. I finished and started a project for Altered Art. A tribute to my dear Dad. It ought be in the mag an issue or two away. This was the first undertaking of this kind for me...a tribute. I stared at the large toasted tin which I knew was going to be the vessel. I sat there a long time looking at the tin thinking about my Dad and was temporarily stunted. You see... My Dad is already in a box, of sorts, sitting atop the TV in the lounge back home in New Zealand. There he sits surrounded by family photos. A pic of him in a suit taken at ANZAC day one year looking rather solemn as he is obviously remembering his mates no longer alive. We put some of Dads fave sweets around the box as a sort of tribute and it is unspoken that they just sit there, despite most of them being also some of the family faves. We raise our drams of scotch to him each night I am back home and we toast Dad and the Auckland Blues or NZ Allblacks when there is a rugby game on. Mum whispers good morning darling and goodnight each day. One could think it rather grim that a rather smaller version of Dad is still there, but as a family it does not bother us. We have all heard of weirder scenarios, like the folk who just let their loved ones sit in their fave chair where they died and take on that sort of dried up look about them. Or store their dearly departed in the chest freezer and then pray for no power outages. So in the bigger scheme of things, the Stubbs clan is not all that weird. Dad will be interred when Mum has had enough of this place and leaves us. That will be THE sad day. Anyway, back to my Dad project. Nothing quite seemed good enough and I think that is why I pondered and procrastinated. I didn't quite get to the point of dial-a-therapist but if it wasn't for the wisest of the crispies within, I could have. The worst thing was, ugh,  I had a deadline. Welllllllll...The Kiwi is not the best with deadlines and I felt the pressure to perform. That, mixed with the emotions regarding Dad, meant I wasn't going anywhere fast. I had many ideas, I could picture a look yet there was no way in hell it was all going to fit in a tin. I accepted my temporary state of being and continued to create in my head. I knew I needed a picture of him, I knew I was going to stamp an Amaryllis Lilly on the back as Dad grew them and most family members have a generation of bulbs going back to my late Nana Tyndall, so I just had to have a stamp created for YanKiwi, It was a given. I knew I had an old article from the New Zealand Herald written about the battle at Monte Cassino in Italy during WW11. Dad was a truck driver during the war herding troops and supplies from A to B  and of course it was a significant time for him as a young soldier. I had to somehow fit that in there. I continued my quest to gather symbolic bits and bobs and soon realized I had the bones, so to speak. I just had to start the assembling. Again I was stopped in my tracks. Eventually, I just let myself feel the feeling and did it anyway. My goal was to feel the feeling and create. I touched a lock of Dads hair and bent to sniff it hoping to smell him but couldn't. I smiled at the picture of him taken next to his prize Christmas Lillie's and pieced together my project by feeling all the feelings within. It was ok to feel. I soon had completion the day it needed posting. You all won't get to see much in the mag, at best their will be two shots and the whole enchilada won't be visible. All you really have to know is it is a tribute for my Dad, from me to him.

Thanks be given

Whilst Thanksgiving is still not considered a tradition for The Kiwi I have come to accept it as a special day for all you Americans and turkeys alike. If you get past Thanksgiving intact then you get to live another day and surely that is something to be grateful for. We didn't do the whole kit and caboodle this year. Tracy had to work and a pot luck dinner was shared by all the unfortunates who drew the short straw. We had our fill in an unceremonious fashion and I've been going from pen to paper to website surfing waiting for the hours to pass before we head home. The wine has taken effect and so has the turkey drug, its near on ten o'clock and I can almost feel myself snoring. To me Thanksgiving means being with the ones you love and if my love has to work than I am going to be there, its a long way back to Riverside from LA with a stickshift alone. So what really is Thanksgiving all about nowadays anyway. Seems to me to be a one day event doing your best to play nicely with others topped off with a huge shopping spree after midnight. Shop until you drop or get shot. Tomorrow is Black Friday...arguably the biggest shopping day of the year. But it is a different year...will people really be out there in their droves or will they have let their bodies succumb to the turkey drug and stay home belly up? I personally could think of nowhere I would rather NOT be than in the midst of a midnight sale...even if I was under the influence of turkey, its just not my cup of tea. So I am grateful to be with the one I love. It doesn't really matter where we are or the quality of the mashed potatos, the fact that we are together is what I cherish and hold high above all else. 10.06 pm and the newsroom is like a morgue. The workstation pods that house the unfortunates are backlit with computor glow, paper plates with chewed on turkey bones sit on any clear surface waiting for deadline to pass before they clear them away and head on home. The air is thick with pumpkin pie spice and I may need to go investigate. What's Thanksgiving without the trimmings eh? We are nothing without our traditions, our yearly rituals, our desire to eat some dry old bird once a year and believe it tastes nice. I still refuse to go shopping though. A gal has got to draw the line somewhere.

Back in Town

Whooooo...I have been a baddddd Kiwi
I have been absent from my blog and indeed went awol.
That does not mean I had nothing to say for those that know me know that could never be. It is just that my focus has been elsewhere and I had to go with it. That was then and this is now and I am back with a vengeance. Six weeks in New Zealand got me a little soggy and I am not talking about the fine whiskey I shared with my dear Mum each eve. NOOOO...I am talking about the rain and lack of computer access. I can hear you all say " I thought NZ was a hip, go to sort of place" Well..indeed it is. The Kiwi was staying in a retirement village where dial up was the in thing and without her Apple Mac she was dead in the water and pulling out hair. Now that is not all the Kiwi has been up to. Many a musing has taken place and I will soon share.

Last things first and our latest news is that we hosted our 2nd Art In The Yard Fall Fling and have gotten to the stage where our garden is near full with woman Artists and Crafters. It was well attended with well over 200 visitors and buyers and if I say so myself a fab day was had by one and all. Bread was broken and shared, wine flowed freely and The Kiwi stuck by her new rule of not popping a cork before noon. Now don't get me wrong. I don't do battle with the bottle despite what you read here. Its just that when I play host and promoter, not to mention vendor I get a little manic on the day and thirsty. I forget what liquid I have in my hand and find myself guzzling like a jeep out of petrol sucking up at the local gas Costco and before you know it my mind is altered. Sooo...This time was different thanks to The Yank watching me closely and limiting my supply. Speaking of The Yank. She hacked me in my absence and didn't even have the decency to write in capitols where needed grrrrrr.
I think, just between you and me that she was trying to make my blogglette look NOT so neglected. Didn't fool me, after all everyone knows that I speak and write proper Queen's English and know to start a sentence with a capital letter.

Looks aren't everything

Do you remember back when you were a young wee whipper snapper with all the rushing hormones ?
Or am I the only one that can remember that feeling?
Or am I the only one that admits to that feeling?
hmmmmmm
Anyway.....LONG LONG LONGGG AGO...pre having being neutered and turning grey, The Kiwi lived at a time when looks were arguably ONE of the most important factors regarding attractive qualities. Whilst I was never one of these shallow, superficial people, still today and some may say, even more so, looks do come FIRST in some arenas.
Move the clock hmmmmmmmm 20 plus years. The Kiwi has adopted this mindset about looks and is now herself guilty of pre judging. I want to share with you, my peeps, how looks can be deceiving. A word of wisdom!
As a rubber stamping biz we have advertised in a couple of the main major mags or M and M's  for short. We also aspired to advertise in a couple of the che che, cutting edge, absolutely gorgeous, very expensive to advertise in, wonderfully textured, forever giving birth, family of OTHER magazines out there. For simplicity sake I shall henseforth just refer to them as The OTHERS.
Yes people. YanKiwi fancied playing with the big girls and is regularly courted.
We all know that the current economy sucks, I can't think of a better word than SUCKS because it indeed seems to SUCK everything out of one. More money for petrol, more money for corn, more money for petrol made of corn  you get the drift. It is a sucking time out there for a lot of us.
Before I go off on a tagent never to return I shall bring the purpose of my writing to the forefront.
We didn't even consider the mag that took over from Rubber Stamper. Didn't like the idea of being in a mag with croqueted tops and  duck shaped candles, didn't want to be on a shelf in a supermarket at rugrat level so to be smeared with greasy fingertips. That was the image that I had formed in my wee Kiwi head. I was still, in my mind trying to justify how we were going to compete against a self serving conglomeration known as The OTHERS, without feeling like we were funding their stamp line with our precious advertising dollars. Pimp I was not!
In the meantime we had some stuff published...only took a bit less than 2 yrs but then there was a change of owners and everything was a bit hickle dee pickel dee. To cut to the chase because The Yank doesn't think y'all can understand my English, We have had MORE business to date from the, excuse the saying, errrrrr , ugly duckling mag than we have got off some of the ones we pay to advertise in. I must emphasize TO DATE.
Whilst it has not made us millionaires, by any means and the tummytucks and eyelifts will have to wait till the next life, we have now reopened our mind and THAT in the least is refreshing.
To quickly summerize. Looks arn't everything, unless you're an eye, and that my pretty is the moral of the story and ain't it just wonderful to be able to rethink something and come out with a different conclusion...if only The Kiwi could have been this wise when she was a sweet young thing. Next life eh!

Long time no blog

"Goodness grape nuts" The Yank did say. "Why aren't you writing?"
Wellllllll....there's a 1001 reasons and none of them good enough.
I will give you 13 off the top of the bean..
1/ hmmmmmmmmm...nothing to say.
2/ Still sulking cause Hillary missed out.
3/ The economy sucks and I can't see the end of the tunnel.
4/ Didn't get a hybrid in time.
5/ Missed out on a FREE copy Dr Laura's book "Stop Whining Start Living".
6/ Bill Handel threatens me with the prospect of living in a dumpster, every 20 mins between  5am & 9am.
7/ Don't know what to do 1st...on a daily basis.
8/ The Kiwi melts in temperatures over 87.2 degrees.
9/ The sequel to Hannibal is being filmed in LA and they needed a brain.
10/New neighbors moved in.
11/Stress dulls the comic within.
12/Feeling my age and some #&*%^ mentioned my next b'day that happens to have an 0 in it.
13/Someone once said "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything."

There you go, the above excuses are some of the reasons why The Kiwi has been silent.
The Yank has another saying that she sings...Shessssss backkkkkkk!
and back I am.
I would like to add, with a vengeance, but I guess I have to first earn that rap.
I have been creating though, being the hermit I can be. The Yank turned me on to making stained glass creations and of course we had to reorganize the garage to accommodate . When you play with solder and flux and all the other goodies like sharp pieces of glass, one must proceed with caution. I, myself, had to have my own designated area as The Yank and I are very, errrr different in our needs from a work station.
Bottom line The Yank is meticulously tidy and The Kiwi can't even spell the word...get the picture?
Sooooo... a bit of time had gone into learning the art of playing with glass and I must say I have made some pretty nice wee things. Its kind of addictive and the only thing that stops me is the fact that the garage turns into a deep fryer after 2pm. I am incorporating some things we sell at YanKiwi.com into my creations and by the time the next "Art In The Yard" rolls along, both the Yank and the Kiwi will have plenty of treasures for sale. Pricing is the worse part. We both hate that... the reality is that it has to be done...you can only give so many away and if one wants to improve and be able to buy more stock then one has to sell some things...easy peasy. I mean, it just makes common sense. There's only so much space and a gal can't possibly keep everything.
I learned the perfect remedy for letting go when I had a brick and mortar Antiques Curios and Collectible shop in Auckland New Zealand.
Of course when I first started stocking the shop I bought what I liked. I didn't have $2000pr Ming vases or anything like that. Though I was in possession of a necklace made of cornelians belonging to Elizabeth 1 .
I digress... When one buys things that one likes and one also owns a shop, one has to learn to let go or else one would not be able to continue buying and would get that distasteful label that leaves me all a-quiver: PACK RAT. Sooooooo... The Kiwi decided early on in order to continue the process that it was enough to hold, smell, touch and generally molest the treasure when in custody, BUT be prepared to let it go and therefore be able to repeat the process over and over. AND...do you know what people?...it worked. I consequently got to play with and temporarily own lots of fabulous aged treasures and THAT was why I was in the biz. Because I love that stuff.
I just loved the history and being in its presence.
Its amazing how something so simple works when one is just prepared to apply the theory!
I could end there on that poignant note but I won't. I want to talk a little more about pricing ones creations. The have been 100's of articles written and rehashed on this subject. Most of it has gone in one of The Kiwis ears and out the other. (Note: in one eyeball and out the other doesn't sound as good so The Kiwi reserves the right to say what she damn well pleases cause its her damn blog...nahnahnahnahnahhhhhhhh) Re pricing: unfortunately we have all come across stuff MADE IN CHINA or MADE IN INDIA etc etc that is mass produced by basically, slave labor for a pittance and gobbled up by a society that doesn't care to think about the longterm ramifications or just doesn't think full stop. Example... I have seen stained glass sun catches in Michaels for say $20...use your 40% off or 50% off coupon and you could pay as little $10 for someone's creation.
Now whilst my stuff doesn't look like their stuff, BUYERS look at it and may think my stuff is priced high in comparison and so they buy the cheap stuff because it is cheap. You get the drift eh. THAT is why it is a worthy conversation and THAT is why we do our Art In The Yard shows because the peeps that come know in advance that our stuff is all handmade by the vendors present. They appreciate it and THAT is what keeps the process alive. In a nutshell... we all know that we don't get back the hours put into our creations and thats not how we can tally up and come to a price. It is all a matter of just looking at your work, know what goes into it and being realistic and proud enough to put a price tag on it. If it is gobbled up at a show I guess one can say...Right On!
More than $ is gained from creating and whilst it is a wonderful feeling to be monetarily rewarded for our art, the fact that so many people have been touched by things I have made and you have made is PRICELESS.

Desert Dwellers...we aren't

Welllll... we do live in the high desert but The Kiwi hasn't quite worked out what exactly that means.... Does one have to be high to live in the desert or does the desert make you high?
Either which way The Kiwi is confused AND in the desert, so maybe that gets misconstrued as being high. WHATEVER.
   Writing this from our salubrious surroundings in my ever so comfortable bed at La Grand Motel 6   Mesa, Arizona. Do not be tempted to laugh. The Kiwi can hear you. We did indeed have fine company...NONONO...Not THE Posh one...BETTER.
If you wish to know who else slummed it with YanKiwi send a stamped self addressed envelope with 50,000 buckaroonies to P.O Box YanKiwi and we will share the goss with you. (just joshn) YOU would be surprised people.... shock horror and PINK is all The Kiwi will say. You would have to either bring out the $ or the water-board to get any more info from moi.
Please note: We here at YanKiwi ONLY choose to slum it at the 6's or 8's to check out and report back to our loyal public.
   For those of you wondering why they can't read ALL our comments, it is because we are total control freaks and The Yank is a computer whiz and has the box rigged so only we can see and keep to ourselves your opinions. We do, however, let the odd one filter through, just so some of you can see YOUR name in print. The Kiwi is worried about love mail and can't take on any more responsibilities right now.  Actually people... as I taptaptap I can literally see the spiders weaving their web of words and I will indeed dedicate the next hour or so looking behind the scenes to read all your wonderful words of love, problems and sad little stories.
   Goodness...I digress, It must be the after effects of those large cacti that I nibbled on. The Kiwi had long ago heard rumors of the wonderful medicinal come cosmic experience one got from some cacti...The Yank did tell me to stop but The Kiwi thought it was mostly because she didn't want the responsibility of pulling cacti thorns our of my tongue... silly me.

   Did I mention that we were at the Mesa show in Arizona and had a wonderful response from the crafty ones down there?  If not. We did. We met a lovely new promoter who welcomed us warmly, Thanks Barbara, and a super big Thank You to you yummy folk who visited and supported us at the YanKiwi booth. For sure we will be going to Mesa again and I sure hope I can find the right cacti this time as the one I tried gave me a horrid rash and can't say it tasted nice either.

   Note to self : Contact Charbucks or preferably Deitrichs to get a new franchise or two opened up down there before we come. The Kiwi and The Yank wasted a good half hour looking for a decent coffee. Its almost a good enough reason to go out and buy one of those global positioning dooooduh thingmegigs.
   It was nice to catch up with some pals and share a margarita or two. GEE... I'm really sorry bout the tooth Pinky, I still have the broken fragment in my pocket. If you don't want it, can I use it in a collage?
The Kiwi promises never to share her butter rum toffees with anyone else again, but then again, what goes on in the desert stays in the desert...

The Plot Thickens...

After a day creating some gorgeous works of art, with 1/2 an ear on the election palaver, The Kiwi remembered a couple of very important propositions. With 1/2 an hour till the polls closed, I rushed back to YK HQ to reach out and inform you, the GP or general public (If you prefer the long version) of The Kiwi's position on these ever so important props... ie proposals. I will keep it brief and please excuse my bastardization of the props. As a Legal Alien I don't bother much with formality but I am sure the informed will get The Kiwi's drift.
Prop 93... something about extending the feeding time at the trough. The Kiwi says NO!
Extract the noses and rid the State of useless professional piggies. Whilst theres a lot to be said for experience and the value of time spent unraveling state issues and learning how to put it back together BETTER, it has obviously become a feeding trough for the wicked and useless. I say, The Kiwi says, cut off their tails and turn them into tenderloin. Note: This is a toned down version of what The Kiwi really means, and because its before 8pm and the kiddies are still awake, The Kiwi thought it best not to publish the full extent of her thought.
This proposition can be re visited again in the future when all piggies have been properly trained and their noses have once again shortened with evolution.

The Kiwi's last bug in her lug is to do with community colleges. I believe these institutions are a fabulous place to go to learn the art of stamping and embroidery, oh and maths and English, the Queen's language and such. Whether they should be funded so heavily by tax payers money is another question. The Kiwi is adamant that community college attendees don't be seen to be getting a free ride, but that education is accessible to those who want to better themselves and not go around smelling of Mc Donalds.

Alas I know the polls have now closed and my words haven't been able to make an impact but the Yank turned up and in between our dinner of turkey meatballs and tabouli we have been watching history being made. Seems Hills is is making a run for it. Wooooohooooooooooooo, You go girlllll.